This past month in class we have been reading through “Calvary Road” by Roy Hession. In the beginning I really struggled with the message of the book, this was mostly because it was so convicting for me. It was as if God was using it to point to all the areas of my life that needed to be dealt with and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew that God was going to have to do the work in me and I asked Him to do whatever it took to bring me to that point of brokenness before Him. It was one of those prayers that I didn’t really know what the answer would look like at the time, but all the way through the book I experienced God breaking me in answer to that prayer.
God showed me what true brokenness looks like. It is responding in humility to God’s conviction of sin. It is not a onetime thing, but a daily choice to surrender myself completely to the Lord’s will. Brokenness begins when I come to the foot of the cross and look upon Jesus who was willing to be broken for me. He was willing to give up His life and take upon Himself my sins, because of His love for me.
When I think of what Christ went through, it humbles me and puts me in awe of the incredible love of Jesus. He was willing to be broken, suffer and pour out His blood on the cross in a demonstration of complete obedience to His Father. In response I cannot refuse to follow in His example by being willing to yield my time, rights, reputation and will to Him, in order to be filled with His life.
The only way God can do His work in me is if I allow Him to put to death my sinful nature, so that He can live victorious through me. I have to be open to God’s conviction, allowing Him to reveal the sin in my life and then be willing to respond in obedience to His voice. I cannot change or experience brokenness through striving on my own. Only Christ can do the work in me through the power of His Holy Spirit.
As I daily walk with Christ He continues to bring to light the areas in my heart that I must surrender to Him. When I choose to respond to His conviction, I am able to experience the nearness and intimate fellowship of my Father. For He is near to those who are humble and broken before Him.